For our first summary we have Courtney from Woodland Park, Colorado! The video isn’t yet available on the MTV website.
Chanel: Okay, the part that did not go so well is where there was no birth control or failed birth control, not sex. Unless the sex wasn’t good, in which case, I am sorry.
Megan: Yeah, there seems to be a lot of black and white thinking about sex v. no sex in this episode. Courtney thinks that she wants to stick with her religious beliefs and morals, and says, “I’m worried that if I move in with you I will be tempted to have sex.” There is no room for having sex and enjoying it before marriage.
C: What “level” are you on, Courtney? Is it a level that we can actually get on? Ughhhh. I don’t want to shame her or her beliefs, but it’s hard to deal with the association between sex and morality, because I don’t actually think sex is not moral.
M: I think what’s sad to me is that it’s clear that she loves Scott, enjoys sex, and knows it would make sense to move in with him so that they could both help parent, but feels like it is something immoral to be sleeping with him before they are married. She says: “I got my morals back” after she started not having sex after she became pregnant.
Horribly phrased question: Dad: “Where are you at now with being pure?”
C: It’s confusing to me that there’s not shaming from her dad. He says it’s normal to want sex. It doesn’t seem like he’s punishing her? (Yet?)
M: I mean, he kind of is, though? It’s great to say that it’s normal for her to want to have sex, but at the same time, he’s saying she’s “not pure” and that she messed up. So in some ways I think she is getting mixed messages.
C: That’s true. I think I’m looking at this episode alongside Jazmin, and compared to that one, Courtney’s dad is a feminist.
M: Ha! So true.
On the other hand, Courtney is good at holding multiple emotions at once and understanding complex realities, both about her decision not to have sex and her baby’s cleft lip. She says, “We’re blessed, but I’m keeping an open mind.”
C: Okay, it’s possible that I’m confused bc so far Scott is not an asshole? BUT I’m also automatically pissed off when dudes say, ‘I’m trying to think positive. You’re being negative.’ ‘Negative’ is code for seeing things as complicated, instead of as black and white.
Hey! This is one of the first times that we are actually seeing the couple apply for benefits.
C: Yes! Good work, you two. Also, we’re talking about self image in whole new way this episode, for once. It’s not about weight.
M: Courtney: “I’m scared for the epidural.” Dad: “You don’t have to have it.” I’m so confused about whether I like her dad or not.
C: I think she means she’s scared of the needle?
M: Oh, I know. But he continuously speaks to her in a way that is supportive of her choices and gives her multiple options? Except for the sex before marriage thing – kind of.
C: True. I don’t know what to make of him either. My ability to evaluate anything on this show has gotten so warped…by this show.
M: I am kind of appalled that they have to pay out of pocket for this cleft lip surgery. Is it not covered by health insurance or do they not have health insurance?
C: I’m seriously still reeling from the fact that Scott asked about money.
M: Scott: I work an 8 to 5. Courtney: I work a 24/7. #Truth
C: Okay, it’s time to bring this up, I think. The language, “helping” v. “parenting” piece. Especially in this situation, with the purity issue and feeling like she “gave in” and failed, I think it’s not an accident that she says “help.” Does she think she has to shoulder all the burdens of childcare – yes, i’m using the word burden- because pregnancy was her fault, plus also all the shit we internalize about women being the primary care giver?
M: You’re right. It seems like she does think that he should “help” but that the rest of it is her responsibility.
I would like to propose that in each of these episodes we have the boyfriend and girlfriend change responsibilities for one day. Get on that, MTV.
C: Ugh, I do not know what to think re: Sexy Times being halted here. I get where Scott’s coming from, they were having The Sex and now they’re not and that’s difficult, but also, Courtney’s entitled to say she wants to wait and to follow through with that. It feels like an impossible situation to me. Maybe they shouldn’t be living together?
M: Yeah, it seems like they are just on two separate pages and both are resentful of each other.
C: I just realized that the crying baby is coming from inside my headphones and not from the coffee shop.
M: OK I was rooting for Scott until now. “He doesn’t need to be a little girl and be held.” “You take care of him all the time… that’s a stay at home mother’s job”. “Everything [we have] is because of me.” OH, OK, RAISING YOUR CHILD IS DEFINITELY NOT PART OF EVERYTHING. And you would definitely have “everything” without having a girlfriend carry, give birth to, and support your baby.
It’s so sad to me that our capitalistic society equates money with identity. Because Courtney isn’t the one making money, she is subordinated and her identity as a mother and her work is not valued.
C: OH SHIT. “It’s been how long now without sex?” Cool, so sex is a commodity that she owes you? It’s a weapon? Are there some MRA’s camped out in your stupid hair whispering in your ear?
I like how this episode crashed and burned in the last five minutes.
M: I can’t even. We were doing so well in the beginning and it ended on maybe the worst note of all of them.
C: What is the take away here? Dudes need sex. ORIGINAL.
M: I would like to end as usual by sending love to Courtney and baby, but also by letting her know that she does not have to settle for defining her self worth based on outdated patriarchal constructs.
C: My ending thoughts consist of inarticulate sputters of rage.
M: I like that you can tell the severity of our feelings about each episode based on the number of images we choose to include.