Who the Fuck Came Up With ‘Why the Fuck Should I Use Emergency Contraception?’

29 Mar

Shame on you, http://whythefuckshouldiuseec.tumblr.com/, for this incredibly disrespectful attempt to cater your message to young folks.  I’m not even sure what it is exactly that you are trying to attempt with this tumblr, to be honest.  BUT I will be damned if Ima just sit here and keep clickin’ on the insults, generalizations and fucked-up stereotypes you are propagating about young people with vaginas (like me) who need access to emergency contraception.  I will not be likin’ on this on my fb and if I did have a twitter I would sure as hell not be tweetin on this shit either, but I am gonna give you a lil feedback before I start dinner.

The Top Six Insulting Fucking Reasons Why NARAL/NIRH Thinks You Should Use EC:

1) Because if you don’t remember his last name, you probably didn’t remember to use a fucking condom.

2) In the sober light of day, you don’t actually want to have his fucking children.

Newsflash: we ARE NOT all fucking people who use masculine pronouns and we ARE NOT all fucking when we are drunk and we STILL need access to emergency contraception.  Those of us who have fucked / do fuck male-bodied folks DO NOT appreciate you portraying us as drunken sluts either!

3) Getting pregnant after you didn’t even get off would be the fucking cherry on top.

Young folks all over this country are not only educating their peers and their communities about the importance of consent, but also advocating for sex positivity and healthy communication between partners OF ALL GENDER IDENTITIES AND SEXES when it comes to pleasure so please don’t assume that we haven’t figured out how / aren’t working on communicating with our partners about getting off.

4) It’s more effective than your other plan, which is watching a fucking Top Chef marathon.

Right, we all spend our spare time watching reality television, not organizing our communities for social justice or using our voices to speak up when people are trying to speak for us or speak as if they understand our lived experiences.

5) You’ve spent 40 dollars on a lot stupider fucking shit before.

Yes, because nothing says we support young folks like mocking our financial literacy and making assumptions about our class status.

6) Women haven’t always had access to emergency contraception – be a fucking feminist already.

I am about as radical of a feminist as they come homies, but DAMN, every time I see another national organization that is consistently credited (falsely) with representing “the feminist movement” in this country come up with some jive-ass-backward campaign to appeal to young folks that actually serves only to misrepresent our experiences and mock us as sexual beings, I get really fucking pissed off.

So listen up: I am ALL about backin’ up your bc with some ec, okaaaay, BUT the end does not in any way, shape or form justify the means.  Do not think that portraying us as flippant, self-centered and irresponsible is any sort of way to relay a message to us or encourage us to retweet/post/share some bullshit site.  We are much smarter, wittier and better at using f-words than you are.

You can and SHOULD be doing so much better than this.

 

17 Responses to “Who the Fuck Came Up With ‘Why the Fuck Should I Use Emergency Contraception?’”

  1. Molly March 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    I couldn’t quite iterate why this rubbed me the wrong way, but THANK YOU for spelling out what I couldn’t put coherently. Emergency contraception? ALL THE WAY. Vaguely discomforting, actually insulting hip campaigns to do it? Pass, thanks.

  2. Julie March 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    My boyfriend’s (who I’ve been with for a very long time and am committed to and monogamous with) condom fell off once. I was on the pill, but I didn’t completely trust it as it was very difficult to always take correctly on my insane Army work schedule. I bought PlanB. Two of them. One to use right away, the other to keep in my cabinet just in case. I didn’t get pregnant. Why did I do this? Because I’m a responsible, well-informed person, fully aware of what I want and what I don’t, fully capable of making my own decisions and acting on them, and not swayed by anti-woman bullshit trying to convince me that submission to the ideologies of misogynistic propagandists is cool just because the use the word “fuck.”

  3. Ash March 29, 2011 at 2:53 pm #

    Hmm. I’m on the fence. I think it’s a little too trendy/gimmicky, but I laughed at a couple of the messages. “It’s more effective than your other plan, which is watching a fucking Top Chef marathon.” Actually, that’s almost exactly what I did when I was in that situation. The second time, I went ahead and bought the EC. And actually, my rationale that time was a lot like, “You’ve spent 40 dollars on a lot stupider fucking shit before.” (And I’m perfectly financially responsible, and lower-working-class)

    “Because if you don’t remember his last name, you probably didn’t remember to use a fucking condom.” Not nuts about offerings like this one. Aaaalmost borders on slut-shaming.

    All in all, not the most offensive thing I’ve seen today. Which I guess is sad, in itself.

  4. Nadja Vielot March 29, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

    I disagree that these responses portray women as irresponsible. In fact, using EC either to back up your current method or because you don’t currently use a method is a very responsible thing to do. Sure, not all of us have sex when drunk or even have sex with men, but those are still valid reasons to use EC. For example, it is pretty anti-feminist to insinuate that women who have unprotected sex while drunk are “drunken sluts”; it happens to lots of us, even those of us who are monogamous. I’m happy to admit that I’ve had drunken, unprotected sex with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. It doesn’t happen to all women but it at least happens to some of us, and it’s important not to shame women who have that reason, because then they’re less likely to protect themselves at all.

    Also, I don’t understand your objection to the bit about orgasm. If you have strong rapport with your sexual partners to be able to reach orgasm most of the time, that’s great. Not everybody has that. There actually is a fair likelihood that a woman does not orgasm during a given sex act; what does this have to do with EC? Regardless of your ability to orgasm, pregnancy still happens. I don’t see how it’s a relevant argument. Either way, I agree that it is extra sucky to find yourself pregnant after a mediocre sex act.

    Forgive me, but it seems like you’re taking this a bit too personally. We’re all aware that some of these statements are stereotypical and don’t apply to everybody. But in fact many of them reflect at least one person’s reality. EC is great no matter what your reason for using it. I’m sorry you think that there are bad reasons to use EC, but I think you’re remiss in failing to acknowledge the many ways in which a person can fall pregnant and come to that decision.

  5. ProChoiceGal March 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Thank you for this post, Chere. The idea of this campaign could have worked out well if implemented correctly. As it is, though, it’s very sexist. No movement or organization is perfect; we all screw up. What is most important is that we own up to our mistakes. If we don’t call out sexism (or transphobia, racism, classism, etc) in our own movement, we will get absolutely no where in our right for human rights. No where.

  6. placenta sandwich March 29, 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    FYI, saying “fuck” a lot has fuck-all to do with appealing to the kids, per se, but is a send-up of the whole tumblr *thing* where blogs are always called things like [real examples]:
    -lookatthisfuckinghipster
    -fuckyeahidontknow
    -fuckyeah______[just about anything] (check http://isitafyeah.com/)
    -and perhaps most directly copycatted here, http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/

  7. miss polk March 30, 2011 at 12:25 am #

    I love the Why the Fuck Should I Use EC campaign. Maybe the reasons don’t apply to you and maybe because of that you can’t see the humor. But these are some real reasons that nobody ever talks about. The silence is what’s slut-shaming, not the the acknowledgement that these reasons exist for tons of ladies. The whole point is that accidentally having sex with a STD-ridden stranger while you’re high on extacy in a rural parking lot is just as good a reason to use EC as having your triple layered condom break with your monogamous partner of a gazillion years. Both happen. And both happen to the same women. The campaign acknowledges that with no value judgements. Yes, even bookworms and feminists and generally responsible shit-together bitches have fucked-up, drug-induced, unprotected sex sometimes and this kind of campaign helps us say “fuck yeah I need EC and I don’t gotta feel bad about it.” So when you come in and say that some of these reasons to use EC are slut-shaming, you’re the one assuming that these reasons are shameful. You’re the one placing that value judgement. In your desperation to point out that not all EC-using women are reality-tv watching drunk sluts, you’re the one drawing the line between “good” women and “bad” women and “good” reasons and “bad” reasons to use EC. The campaign is like, “these are all great, common reasons to use EC!” and this post is like “we don’t have such miserable, slutty reasons to use EC and we’re offended that you think we do!” The hypocrisy is killin’ me.

  8. Molly D March 30, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    Oh Chere,

    You are right on. I hate being talked to like I’m an idiot. To sell EC to me by using “fuck” over and over isn’t going to be effective. I think we need to promote healthy knowledge of sex education and prevention of STIs/STDs and pregnancy.

    Perhaps this is what type of response we can expect if sex education continues to get the flush in public schools. Apparently, the efforts to reach young people is to try to “talk like them.” When I need Emergency Contraception, the last thing I want is to find a bunch of information online that looks sketch and untrustworthy. Thank god for the organizations that help to empower people through education on these important topics.

    Great post, Chere!

  9. Nadja Vielot March 30, 2011 at 8:35 am #

    Right on, Miss Polk. For the record, the s-word didn’t even come up until this post.

    I’d also like to point out, Chere, that you neglected all the excellent points made by the site, such as:

    -the very real possibility that EC will become restricted in the near future
    -EC, if you can get to it on time, is a viable and effective contraceptive
    -it is more convenient and cost-effective than having an abortion
    -it is possible to get pregnant even if you have sex infrequently
    -no methods are 100%
    -some women don’t use methods consistently, either by accident or intentionally
    -you might not be ready to take on the responsibility of parenthood
    -your partner is a lazy idiot
    -you were ill-informed about birth control options
    -you’re not interested in changing your lifestyle

    And etc.

  10. catnmus March 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    I’m on the fence about this one. I think some of the reasons are good, but some of them are sketchy. (I got because you can’t even remember to feed your fucking goldfish and because you took a virginity pledge. See how that fucking worked out.) But the tone is just all wrong. It’s the tone of the older sister or the smarter, more popular friend, calling you stupid.

    What would help it is if there was a way to add your own reason to the site. That would give it the tone of we’re all women here, here’s my reason, what’s yours?. Or, if for every snarkily presented reason, there was an explanation or a statistic. For example, You had the best intentions when you made that virginity pledge. But the unexpected happens. Now you can deal with it.

    As it stands now, it’s just creepy.

  11. Lilia March 31, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    You do realize that on Twitter people can see both sides of the conversation. We can see everything Abortion Gang wrote (and that clincescort), and everything they wrote. I’ve lost all respect for Abortion Gang. You are the disrespectful ones here. Abortion Gang talked down to the people they disagreed with and were very judgmental. You should really look at your own actions before you judge others, you are doing no better than they are.

  12. Bucket March 31, 2011 at 10:04 am #

    I agree with miss polk: just because these aren’t your experiences doesn’t mean they aren’t the experiences of other people. No one is telling you that you are irresponsible or a “drunken slut”…they are simply pointing out that some women do have drunken unprotected sex or moments of poor judgment (if that’s the way they see it) and that EC should be available to them if need be. Period.

    Also, I would just like to throw out a “good for you” that you are able to have healthy communication when it comes to pleasure. But again, not everyone has this/is able to do this. While you’ve reached that place, some of us are still learning. It doesn’t make us any less feminist than you or anyone else. We each have our own unique experiences/feelings/opinions and “shame” on you for shaming women into thinking we can’t find humour in our personal experiences.

    I think this tumblr is relate able and hilarious.

  13. Kaitlyn March 31, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    Thank you for commenting. Yes, we do realize people can see both sides of the argument on twitter. This was always meant to be an open, public debate, not a private conversation between various sites and personalities. We’re sorry to hear that you can’t respect our engagement in that. The tone of the original post had been meant as a satire of the website in question, not as a personally disrespectful attack. We fully recognize that the discourse devolved to a level of finger-pointing and yelling into the abyss that did not represent the respectful dialogue we have come to know and love between members of feminist sites, however different their goals or approaches might be. At this point, we are dealing directly with those involved about how to move on productively. We stand by our original post; some, though not all, members of Abortion Gang found the “Why The Fuck” campaign offensive, slut-shaming, and even triggering. If some members of your audience are alienated by it, it is probably not an effective campaign. However, we are aware that if so many people took issue with our response, we also have a responsibility to communicate effectively, and we have failed in some ways to do so. We feel that this was in many ways a positive learning experience and it did, ultimately, achieve the goal we had in mind, which was to get people talking about what we saw as the successes and failures of the campaign. We here at Abortion Gang actually wish aloud, on many an occasion, for edgier ideas around outreach to young feminists, and for that, we wanted this campaign to be a success. Unfortunately, we felt the messaging needing to be re-evaluated in order to not alienate readership – and yes, that is a lesson we can take away from this too.

  14. Lauren April 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    I think the thing that bothered me about the tumblr in question wasn’t the list of reasons given, but how those reasons were worded.

    By throwing in fuck at every opportunity and trying to sensationalize real, common mistakes/situations, that ANY WOMAN could make/be in, it sort of gave the impression that all those reasons were bad, something to be ashamed of, and worthy of being shouted at accusingly with no attempt at tact.

    For me, clicking on the different reasons was like I was being yelled at and called stupid for doing these things. Like they were all really bad no-nos that used to get you grounded or screamed at by your parents when you were little.

    That’s not really how I’d want to win people over and give them a positive impression about protecting their bodies by acquiring EC.

  15. Lori April 4, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    You also have to understand that every idiot and their brother can post these things up. I wouldn’t get too offended by it. It’s a tumblr, not a respectable site for some organization.

  16. Steph April 4, 2011 at 4:56 pm #

    @Lori: Actually, the tumblr was created by the Back Up Your Birth Control campaign, which is part of the National Institute of Reproductive Health and NARAL NY. Unfortunately, it’s not just a random “fuck yeah ____” tumblr.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s Back Up Your Birth Control Day! (And in Defense of The Funny) - March 30, 2011

    [...] strategy — anyone who does non-profit work knows it ain’t easy. But then I saw this post on Abortion Gang: Shame on you, http://whythefuckshouldiuseec.tumblr.com/, for this incredibly disrespectful [...]

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