The town in which I currently reside has been without a Crisis Pregnancy Center for several years. I don’t know why the last one closed down. I would like to think it was because it never had any business, but my night job delivering babies tells me otherwise. I imagine that the small, but obnoxious, anti-choice population just couldn’t divide their time equally between lying to women and girls in their fake women’s health clinic and yelling and threatening women entering the local Planned Parenthood.
During this past springs “40 days for life” protest, a doula friend and I acted as clinic escorts. I wore makeup and had my hair down, thinking no one from the Catholic hospital where I work would recognize me. It worked for the most part. But on my last day of escorting, I was recognized. The husband of one of my coworkers was spending his morning harassing Planned Parenthood clients. I tried to avoid making eye contact with him. I didn’t want to deal with his zealotry. He followed me to my car. “How can someone who helps bring the miracle of life into this world aid in killing innocent babies?” He pleaded with me. “Back off dude” I replied. “You of all people know how precious life is, how…” I interrupted him. “Dude, back off. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. You and your wife claim to care about women and their children. I’ve seen how your wife clicks her tongue in disgust when someone she deems unsavory comes in to deliver.” I got into my car and drove away. His wife kept trying to talk to me at work. I told her I wanted to keep my personal beliefs and personal life outside of my work life. I told her to leave me alone. I threatened to make a complaint of harassment in HR if she kept pestering me.
I found out that this husband and wife team is opening up a Crisis Pregnancy Center later this year. They are purchasing a RV and will be driving around our county spreading the Gospel and dispensing the lies that CPCs are famous for. The wife is going to be the sole medical person on the bus; they were not able to find an OB/GYN in town that will support their cause.
The whole idea of this CPC bus pisses me off. I was fuming mad for several days. Then I started to daydream. What if I could get a big pink vehicle and follow the bus around? I could fill it with condoms, dental dams and science-based sex and health information pamphlets. I could use my mobile phone to help women make appointments at my local clinic! Even better– what if I could get a big pink TANK? I could offer rides to the clinic! I’m pretty sure the antis would get out of the way if they saw me in a tank. Then my daydream ends. I can’t afford a tank. I don’t know how to drive a tank. I know I need to find a more conventional way to fight this bus. So I write a letter to the editor, while visions of pink tanks float around in my head.