Yes, you read that right. It’s perfectly legal to kidnap a person’s child right here in the US. However, we don’t call it kidnapping. We call it adoption.
A few days ago, while searching for the percentage of women who regret “giving up” their child for adoption, I found this study. It states that “98.9% of unmarried mothers were forced or pressured to surrender their babies for adoption.”
Now, I don’t know how accurate that statistic is. I don’t know if I should trust this source or not. However, I would bet that that statistic isn’t far off. You may think that I’m just being pessimistic, but think about the people who most adoption agencies. They’re the people who will intentionally lie to women about how far along they are in their pregnancies, or even tell a woman that she is not pregnant (when she really is) in order to delay her abortion so that it’s more difficult, more expensive, and possibly more dangerous for her to receive. They’re the people who will do their best to try to scare the women who are deceived into coming to them for “help” by telling her that she’s going to hell, or that she’ll die if she has an abortion, or that she’ll end up committing suicide or getting breast cancer. They’re anti-choicers, and in particular, they’re the people who run deceptive crisis pregnancy centers.
When you think about who runs the adoption agencies, it’s no wonder that there is a very large percentage of women who were forced or coerced into losing their children. It’s no wonder that women who have their children taken away from them are, in many cases, threatened with legal action and told the lies of an “open adoption” only to find that, later on, the adoptive parents want nothing to do with her and she’ll never get to see her child again. It’s no wonder that these women are told that they’ll be homeless and that they have no right to grieve because they had sex and got pregnant. It’s no wonder that these women are told that they’d be bad mothers. It’s no wonder that they describe adoption as a “win-win” situation, without addressing the regret and grieving that many/most women feel after adopting out their children. It’s not surprising in the slightest.
Now, I’m not saying that adoption doesn’t have the potential to be a good option. The more options women have, the better. If a woman chooses to go through a pregnancy and then chooses to give her baby up for adoption, who am I to tell her that she’s wrong? However, as it is today, adoption is not freely chosen. It’s tragic, and in most cases, it results from the lies and pressure from anti-choicers. Until the adoption business is heavily reformed and no longer run by anti-choicers, it is just another tool that is used to hurt pregnant women and mothers. This tool of destruction hurts marginalized women the most, the ones who are deemed unworthy of becoming mothers.
Pro-choicers, let’s think about it when we say that we promote “abortion, adoption, and parenting”. Yes, adoption should be an option, but we must acknowledge the need for reform. If we don’t, then who will?