Kidnapping is Legal, Right Here in the USA

21 Jul

Yes, you read that right. It’s perfectly legal to kidnap a person’s child right here in the US. However, we don’t call it kidnapping. We call it adoption.

A few days ago, while searching for the percentage of women who regret “giving up” their child for adoption, I found this study. It states that “98.9% of unmarried mothers were forced or pressured to surrender their babies for adoption.”

Now, I don’t know how accurate that statistic is. I don’t know if I should trust this source or not. However, I would bet that that statistic isn’t far off. You may think that I’m just being pessimistic, but think about the people who most adoption agencies. They’re the people who will intentionally lie to women about how far along they are in their pregnancies, or even tell a woman that she is not pregnant (when she really is) in order to delay her abortion so that it’s more difficult, more expensive, and possibly more dangerous for her to receive. They’re the people who will do their best to try to scare the women who are deceived into coming to them for “help” by telling her that she’s going to hell, or that she’ll die if she has an abortion, or that she’ll end up committing suicide or getting breast cancer. They’re anti-choicers, and in particular, they’re the people who run deceptive crisis pregnancy centers.

When you think about who runs the adoption agencies, it’s no wonder that there is a very large percentage of women who were forced or coerced into losing their children. It’s no wonder that women who have their children taken away from them are, in many cases, threatened with legal action and told the lies of an “open adoption” only to find that, later on, the adoptive parents want nothing to do with her and she’ll never get to see her child again. It’s no wonder that these women are told that they’ll be homeless and that they have no right to grieve because they had sex and got pregnant. It’s no wonder that these women are told that they’d be bad mothers. It’s no wonder that they describe adoption as a “win-win” situation, without addressing the regret and grieving that many/most women feel after adopting out their children. It’s not surprising in the slightest.

Now, I’m not saying that adoption doesn’t have the potential to be a good option. The more options women have, the better. If a woman chooses to go through a pregnancy and then chooses to give her baby up for adoption, who am I to tell her that she’s wrong? However, as it is today, adoption is not freely chosen. It’s tragic, and in most cases, it results from the lies and pressure from anti-choicers. Until the adoption business is heavily reformed and no longer run by anti-choicers, it is just another tool that is used to hurt pregnant women and mothers. This tool of destruction hurts marginalized women the most, the ones who are deemed unworthy of becoming mothers.

Pro-choicers, let’s think about it when we say that we promote “abortion, adoption, and parenting”. Yes, adoption should be an option, but we must acknowledge the need for reform. If we don’t, then who will?

6 Responses to “Kidnapping is Legal, Right Here in the USA”

  1. Jessica Sideways July 21, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    I agree that there does need to be reform and when I do decide to adopt a baby, I would like to work directly with the mother to make sure she doesn’t get railroaded by the anti-choice liars and she has her rights respected.

  2. shanaho July 21, 2010 at 1:11 pm #

    I definitely agree that pressuring unmarried women to carry their pregnancies to term and give their babies up for adoption, while denying them access to/information about abortion is really horrendous.

    However, this study
    1) does not take place in the US, it is from the UK,
    2) was done between 1950 and 1975, and
    3) seems to have focused almost exclusively (98%) on women living in a church-run unmarried mothers home, not at all on the general population of unmarried women.

    All of this information is on the link you provided in the post. This comment just to say: I think the point you’re making is valid, but this post does not make that point and actually serves to discredit it.

  3. placenta sandwich July 21, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    Yes, adoption reform is ESSENTIAL. I love the blog Fugitivus and suggest it to anyone who’s interested in the ethical complexities of adoption as it actually works here and now — starting at this page: http://www.fugitivus.net/2010/04/20/adoption-sometimes-gets-all-fucked-up-101/

  4. Emily August 3, 2010 at 7:20 pm #

    I’m more familiar with parents (mostly mothers) whose parental rights are terminated by courts. The parents I work with are mostly addicted to drugs, suffering from mental illness, or mentally retarded (in that order). Before their rights are terminated, and the process of their children being adopted by family or foster parents continues, the case is built against the birth parents. The birth parent is pretty much coerced into surrendering their children to foster parents. Even parents that I have worked with who I thought would fight tooth and nail to get their children back have folded. I’m not going to assume what’s best for the child, in terms of who the child should live with. I think every child needs to live in a good home. But the coercion and pressuring that takes place is really astounding.

  5. nicegirlnotes August 5, 2010 at 6:30 pm #

    This post sounds like one giant scare tactic to me. The use of that study is preposterous. Yes, I agree that adoption needs reform, but to use that study as some sort of means to scare people AWAY from giving up a child for adoption? Calling adoption kidnapping? That’s an insult to every parent that’s ever given a child a home.

  6. Anonymous November 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm #

    First off your calling adoption Kidnapping seriously? I have ha personal experience with adoption and I can tell you right now that it is not kidnapping. That’s like when the news says the worlds ending tomorrow find out why at 11, its a bullshit caption with a bullshit story. Further more I hate to remind you as TWO other posters did that that study isn’t valid in an way shape or forum, and the great part about it is that you don’t even believe it. In your very next paragraph you say and I quote “Now, I don’t know how accurate that statistic is. I don’t know if I should trust this source or not”, this show that you find fault in the study you are using to prove your own point. I hope you realize how stupid this post is and take it down.

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