Not Everyone Cares.

15 Apr

There’s something I’ve been thinking about. I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to admit it. But I think it’s time I do.

Not every woman cares. Not every woman wants women to have equal rights.

This baffles my mind, at first. I can’t imagine a woman who doesn’t want equal rights. I can’t imagine a woman who doesn’t stick up for the rights of other women. But they’re out there.


The latest example is @MrsDigger who got into a debate about women “exposing” themselves while breastfeeding. Excuse me? Breastfeeding isn’t exposing anything. It’s feeding a child. I was double surprised to learn MrsDigger, and the people I saw coming to her defense, are all conservative. I thought conservatives were in favor of family values? Isn’t breastfeeding a family value? Taking care of kids?

Perhaps I don’t really understand it.

I’ve never hated a woman for breastfeeding or wanting to sleep with her child. Before I became involved in women’s rights, I didn’t think of these things. They just, didn’t appear in my mind. So at first, when I saw others saying rude and unsupportive things to and about women, especially new mothers, I thought “Oh, they just not be informed.” Realizing that these people were informed, and just didn’t give a darn, well, that was a shock. Especially when some of the people were involved in the birthing industry.

But I really shouldn’t be surprised. Even when women were fighting for the right to vote, there was a group of women saying “No, women shouldn’t have the right to vote.”

Can you imagine being one of the women who stood up and said “No, I don’t want the right to vote.” I can’t!

It scares me that we haven’t moved past this “don’t give me my rights” idea yet. Will we ever get past it? I hope so! I’ll stand up and say “give me my rights!” for all issues- abortion, VBAC, breastfeeding, adoption, anything and everything. Will you?

16 Responses to “Not Everyone Cares.”

  1. andrea April 15, 2010 at 1:25 pm #

    wow.

    standing up for your fellow vaginas and their rights doesn’t need to end in slandering a sister.

    if you take the time to browse through the above mentioned bloggers feed and posts, you would see that this particular situation has been blown out of the water…disproportionately so.

    also, ’tis posts like this that do nothing to educate others or share opinions and experiences. all it does is provide a virtual petri dish where judgment of others will proliferate.

    andrea

  2. jaded16 April 15, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    De-lurking to say fab post! I get so I get so angry when I see not everyone wants to believe in equal rights etc. I get really mad when young women around me insist that feminism ruins everything (since nothing is just a joke; a pop song is just not a song about a one night stand, it takes on a deeper meaning). I am pretty much that stereotypical angry feminist pointing out misogyny and sexism at every turn and I will continue to always do so🙂

  3. Not Guilty April 15, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    I agree that apathy is one of the biggest problems with womens issues. It isn’t just apathy among women, but men as well, though it is especially mindboggling when women seem to not care. Speaking from personal experience, I don’t want children, and yet I support breastfeeding mothers, national daycare (in Canada), and all other issues that affect women. Whether or not a child is involved doesn’t matter. I am proud that I can divorce my personal feelings from what is right and support what is right no matter its affect on me. That is why I stand up for gay rights, even before somebody close to me came out of the closet. Because it is right.

  4. KushielsMoon April 15, 2010 at 3:49 pm #

    Andrea, can you tell me how I slandered anyone? I did mention @MrsDigger, however I simply said there was a “debate” about breastfeeding.

  5. andrea April 15, 2010 at 4:23 pm #

    “…to learn @MrsDigger, and the people I saw coming to her defense, are all conservative. I thought conservatives were in favor of family values? Isn’t breastfeeding a family value? Taking care of kids?”

    slander is defined as “false statements injurious to a person’s reputation”. perhaps “libel” would have been a better choice of words in my initial response. i stand corrected.

    however, to take into consideration the quote by yourself highlighted above, i interpret you to be insinuating and grouping the individual @MrsDigger as a conservative who has no favor for family values or taking care of children.

    whatever way you want to cut and slice your written word, stand by them. do not claim to have innocent intentions when you clearly singled out one individual for the interwebz wolves to jump upon.

    respectfully,
    andrea

  6. KushielsMoon April 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    Andrea, I never intended to say that MrsDigger or other conservatives don’t favor family, family values or taking care of children.

    Those sentences were *questions* not statements. They were designed to provoke thought.

    Yes, I do believe that saying all woman should cover up when breastfeeding is harmful to babies and women. I do not believe that an individual woman choosing to cover up is harmful, though. I would never go so far as to intentionally characterize an entire human being based upon one opinion of theirs.

    As for singling someone out- MrsDigger is just one example of the multitudes of people who daily say things such as that breastfeeding women should stay home, feed their children in bathrooms or hide their beautiful baby under a stifling blanket. I mentioned her only because I actually spoke with her over twitter on this issue, and she was the person who came to mind when I wrote the post. If she was the only one saying these things, it wouldn’t be problematic. However, there are *lots* of people saying these types of things. Until they stop, a culture of breastfeeding and breastfeeding support will be difficult if not impossible to create.

  7. andrea April 15, 2010 at 5:45 pm #

    “MrsDigger is just one example of the multitudes of people who daily say things such as that breastfeeding women should stay home, feed their children in bathrooms or hide their beautiful baby under a stifling blanket.”

    as someone who has followed the breast thumpers attacking @MrsDigger from the get go, i must reiterate on her behalf that she never stated breastfeeding women should cover up or hide away in all circumstances.

    seriously ladies, we can take any words spoken or written by any person and twist them to suit our own agenda.

    it is ridiculous to conclude that every debatable topic is “black and white”.

    support all women, all people, regardless of whether their decision ranks in your opinion as the right one. because you would demand the same consideration.

    respectfully,

    andrea

  8. Jennifer April 15, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    KushielsMoon,
    I like yourself and many others was initially enraged by certain view points expressed by @mrsdigger, enough to write back.
    However, I read with interest all that she had to say on the matter and yes it had been blown out of proportion.
    She is NOT against women breastfeeding in public and Does believe it is both nurturing and important in the development of the child (In saying this she also identified that it is the Mother’s choice in what they do whether they BF or not and how they raise their child).
    She was not judging women on Breast feeding but uncomfortable at seeing some women expose their breast during dinner at a restaurant.
    Prior to becoming a Mother I used to feel a little uncomfortable at women exposing their breasts in public (I am referring to topless bathers, women in change rooms etc.)
    Maybe because I felt shy or maybe because how I was brought up.
    What I agreed with was that regardless if you are a feeding mother or not we need to appreciate and respect the feelings of others. As I did feed my babies in public I understand both sides.
    You will find her ‘debate’ was about discretion.
    Please check her tweets with @Ashers_mum to get a clearer picture.

    Sincerely
    Jennifer

  9. S.L April 15, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    I did see a woman practically take her shirt off and flashed (I can’t say if it was intentional or not) an entire department store to breastfeed. Now that was too much…gross.

    But yeah, I was on a debate forum a few weeks back about gender segregating buses in Israel and women who were spit on and beaten for not following Haredi rules, there was this one woman who kept blabbering that there was nothing wrong with it and that women were glad to sit apart from men. I wanted to punch her in the face.

  10. KushielsMoon April 15, 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    Andrea, there is a reason I said “thing such as.” It seems people think I’m making claims specifically about MrsDigger, which I’m not and did not. There are only two sentences here about her:

    “The latest example is @MrsDigger who got into a debate about women “exposing” themselves while breastfeeding.”
    and
    “was double surprised to learn MrsDigger, and the people I saw coming to her defense, are all conservative.”

    Nothing else in my post is about her.

    Jennifer, my comments to you are similar.

    I never said that MrsDigger was against breastfeeding. I never said she was against breastfeeding in public.

    You said she was “uncomfortable at seeing some women expose their breast during dinner at a restaurant.”

    This is what we need to *change.* It is not MrsDigger’s fault, nor any individuals fault. But the culture of America is about sex on TV and never in public/reality. Breasts are made to feed children, yet we have turned them into sex objects – and now people are uncomfortable seeing a woman feed her child. We need to create a culture which is perfectly okay with breasts being used to feed children- whether it’s at home, in a restaurant, under a cover, at a nude beach, or anywhere.

    To create that culture, we need to stop shaming women who choose to breastfeed, no matter how or where they breastfeed. Saying that women are “exposing” themselves by feeding their child without a cover is shaming them, and hurting breastfeeding moms and babies.

  11. Not Guilty April 16, 2010 at 6:55 am #

    Andrea, that was not slander nor libel. Just because you can quote the definitions does not mean you have any idea how the law actually applies. I do, I’m in law school. Also, she never said that @ MrsDigger doesn’t have the same rights as other women, she just finds it mindboggling that some women don’t care enough about their own rights to join the fight. We fight for them nonetheless but we are entitled to be a little frustrated by their apathy.

  12. andrea April 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    dear not guilty,

    i refuse to engage with self righteous fuckwits any longer over this “beaten to a bloody pulp” issue…although i suppose this could be considered as doing just that. whatever. your big headed retorts sole purpose was to make me appear an idiot.

    too bad i already recognize myself as one. but at least i’m not one whose mission in life is to shove my beliefs down another humans cake hole. i prefer double chocolate next time, in case you were wondering.

    read your text books again.

    also? bite me.

    respectfully (not really),

    andrea

  13. Steph April 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    Reminder: if you can’t be respectful in your comments, they will be deleted. If you want to make yourself look stupid, I won’t stop you, but know that I am not willing to publish hate or ignorance.

  14. Shayna April 16, 2010 at 2:01 pm #

    This was well written — And an excellent example of the cultural shift that is needed. Thanks for sharing!

  15. Michelle April 20, 2010 at 12:52 am #

    Andrea, that was not slander nor libel. Just because you can quote the definitions does not mean you have any idea how the law actually applies. I do, I’m in law school. Also, she never said that @ MrsDigger doesn’t have the same rights as other women, she just finds it mindboggling that some women don’t care enough about their own rights to join the fight. We fight for them nonetheless but we are entitled to be a little frustrated by their apathy.

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